What do you do?
ANSWER: You panic, cry, beat yourself up, tell yourself you’re a total fucking loser, a giant turd of a person, pinch yourself hard enough so it leaves a mark and then punch a wall.
OR
You go woopsie daisy, give yourself a shake off, take a couple of deep breaths and get back to the feeling, the recognition, that you are living in a Plexiglas box of thought and nothing is getting through that sucker, even yummy custard creams.
And you know what automatically happens when you are back in the bosom of that feeling, suckling on its teat? Self-forgiveness.
Because when you are fully ensconced in your Plexiglas box of thought, consciously aware that you are living, breathing, feeling and experiencing your thinking (and not the outside world directly), you become patently aware that the past does not exist, other than in that same thinking. You can’t go to the past. You can think about your past, now, from within your box, but that is the closest you can get to it. And because you’re thinking changes from one moment to the next, so does your experience of the past. Which means how can you even take your thinking about the past to be truth? You can’t. So, *TA-DA* there’s nothing to forgive, there’s just thought in the moment, which you can let go of, when you realise that it is only thought you’re experiencing when you think back to the incident with the custard creams.
Bottom line – you can’t snuggle down in your Plexiglas box of thought, while holding onto fear and recriminations about the past. Even the past that was not five minutes ago. They’re mutually exclusive conditions. So hop back into the box, get back to that feeling of being in the NOW, in the feeling of your thinking, and be forgiven.
Besides, it’s only a custard cream.
Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash