I have for you today irrefutable proof that English food is not “fucking disgusting”, but actually a delightful romp for all the senses.  

If English food was so terrible, then how could we have come up with bubble & motherlovin’ squeak?

Exactly.  I’ve got you there. 

What’s not to love about B & S?  You take leftover veggies, some mashed potato and then you fry it. Praise be to Maris Pipers.

And it’s a saviour too because if you take a bowl of leftover cabbage and spinach and rumble them into a salad, you are likely to die of food boredom on the spot.  

So, boil your spuds – sweet or normal – and roughly mash them with a fork (as using an implement to thump out all the lumps is neither chic nor rebel) and add them to your warmed up leftover veg.

Then fry the mixture in a little oil like you would an omelette (so flatten out over the bottom of the pan, basically).  Don’t touch it for a couple of minutes and then flip over with the spatula so the other side can brown too.  Like with an omelette will likely fall apart.  No matter, the taste speaks – or should I say, squeaks – for itself (sorry, had to).

You can mould the mixture into patties before frying but me?  I’m not one for faff or mashed potato fingers, plus I’m a L-L-LAZY cook.  It is so good, especially when served with an entire pot of Colman’s English mustard and onion gravy.  Don’t forget the gravy.

English food?  Fucking disgusting?  I think not – though if you come at me with fatty lumps of meat in a stew, I will cut you. 

Photo by Nic D on Unsplash