Word on the street is broccoli is full of vitamin K which is like, THE vitamin to trip up covid-19, apparently. Fuck knows if it’s true, but yesterday I rush out to buy some anyway, the words “better safe than sorry” ringing in my ear hair.
So now I have a fridge full of the stuff and a very short window of opportunity in which to eat it, because in this tropical climate broccoli goes yellow and furry in less time than it takes to pluck a pair of heavy eyebrows (which reminds me, my own caterpillars are due some love).
Anyway, so here I am washing and chopping and trimming these lovely little trees thinking of a glorious way to prepare them, when it dawns on me that nobody ever cooks the stems. Everybody seems to discard the stems like they would a banana skin, which is crazy when most of the head of broccoli is stem.
I mean sure the stems are tougher than the shady part of the tree (“woody” is a word that springs to mind), but they still have value. They still brim with all that anti-covid fighting juice (if that’s true, again, I have no idea). They’re still green and, unlike the banana skin, they’re certainly still edible. When you think about it, “green and edible” is about as complimentary as it’s possible to get with any vegetable. Yet for some reason we deem ourselves too good for these green edibles and toss them on the compost heap.
Well not anymore, not on my watch. I want to see everybody gnawing away on those stems, using the full weight of their incisors to cut through those woody trunks. Stick ’em in the pan with their buddies from now on, okay? No man left behind. And now, having lambasted you for your discourteous treatment of the humble broccoli stem, I present to you a way to cook them so tastily, you’ll forget about the jaw ache caused by the extra chewing.
So, you chop the whole tree up into bite size chunks and discs, steam-fry the pieces in a little oil (which means frying with the lid on), and then, once everything’s looking soft and tasty, add in a lump of butter, as much garlic as you can spare and the juice of a lemon or lime. When all bits of broccoli have been coated it’s ready to eat.
Insanely tasty, especially if you add a pinch of salt and pepper. Good enough to take your salad up a gear certainly, preventative medicine in a bowl, maybe. Anyway, with that I’m off to pop my bread in the oven which I’ve just noticed is creeping alarmingly close to the sides of the baking tray in the manner of “The Blob”, whilst realising I must be getting old if my cultural references are films from the fifties.
Peace, bitches xx
Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash