You mean to tell me you have access to a gym and parks in which you can run / skip / throw frisbees for your dog, and you DON’T USE THEM?? You know what I have? A space barely big enough to fully extend in and a humidity level of 75000%. One sit-up and it looks like I’ve been for a swim.

Claiming you hate exercise is just that – a claim. It’s not true. It’s a story you’ve made up about yourself that you’re pretending is fact. The thought I hate exercise has entered your airspace, and rather than see it as one of tens of thousands of brain farts that flow through you everyday, most of which you ignore, you’ve clung to it and claimed it as fact.

So it’s become fact, and now you live in its shadow. But it’s no more truthful than sardine juice makes good deodorant. Whatever thoughts you allow to take root – will. And no thought is without its consequences. In this case it’s you, turning your back on nature’s Prozac. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like the euphoric high after a high-intensity workout. Throw away your prescription pills pumpkin, exercise will do more for your mood than they ever could – and the only side-effect is an enviable figure and high self-esteem.

But one caveat – no pissing about on the machines at the gym, okay? 20 mins on the cross trainer while you mindlessly watch MTV Cribs will NOT make you sashay out of the session feeling like the whole world is your oyster, your bitch and there entirely for the taking. Classes like HiiT, Crossfit, Taekwondo or spinning on the other hand, will. Why? Because the trainer is there to push you. The trainer is there to do the thinking and the directing, leaving you with nothing to do, other than sweat. That’s you’re only job. Sweat, bitch, sweat. And you have to if you want to make a difference. You need to sweat and curse and go as red as a pair of lifeguard’s shorts if you want to change your life, because that’s where the brain chemistry mingles into magic and turns you from a moody, bloated insomniac into a joyful, peaceful, motivated human. And it WILL happen, if you just turn up to your exercise sessions. And then turn up again. And again.

All you’ve got to do is turn up to crossfit (or whatever) and the magic will unfold. But not once or twice a week. You can’t progress at anything quickly when you only do it once or twice a week. Go four or five times. Anyway, what’s the point spending a couple of hours a week carrying out exercise when you could spend only a bit more time and change your whole life. You’ll only be short-changing yourself.

So just fucking do it. At first you’ll hate it, everybody does. But after about three sessions you’ll start seeing an improvement in everything from your silhouette to your lung capacity to your sleep. And by the end of the month you’ll be an entirely new person with a new outlook, new goals and new clothes (as the old ones won’t fit).

And yes you’re busy, but the hours you use up fitting this into your schedule you’ll save in productivity in all other areas of your life – so there.

Go, now, and seek out your nearest sweat box because honestly, you cannot properly experience a high quality existence without high quality health, and there is no other way to get it.

Photo by Hipcravo on Unsplash